The paranormal event described here comes from An Explosion of Being, the book my wife Barbara and I wrote a number of years ago. It appeared in the chapter titled, “Startling Dream Events,” and is taken directly from my dream journal:
Monday, 2:45 AM
What an incredible experience! For the past half hour or more, I’ve been undergoing a very vivid semi-dream state. It began at some point when I awoke, lying on my side, facing Barb.
I had been awakened by what I heard and felt to be a tremendous explosion. It was as if something had actually detonated over the house, like a huge firework. “As I lay there, everything was agonizingly quiet. Barb was still sleeping peacefully. No lightning. No fire. No retreating thunder. No children running to us in fear. No neighbors clamoring outside in amazement.
Lying there with a distinctly physical feeling that indeed something had blown up, I began to wonder if I was the only one who had heard it. Impossible! Finally convincing myself that it must have been a dream, I turned over and went back to sleep. Dreams floated over me:
An old friend and I were looking at a car that needed painting. Someone patted the car in question, and we agreed on when it was to be delivered. With my hand on the friend’s shoulder, we left through a darkened hallway. How mundane it seemed.
At this point, I awakened again. I could have sworn that a bug was crawling on me as consciousness returned. Groggily, I pushed the covers aside. One leg was pulled up as I lay on my side, but somehow, I just didn’t have the energy to move any further. The arm that pushed the covers aside lay across my leg in what normally would have been a most uncomfortable position. But, my body felt heavy, tired and very relaxed. In contrast, my mind was highly alert.
Realization then struck that no bug was crawling on me, and there actually had been no explosion in the physical sense. Suddenly, my left ear began to ring furiously, and I understood without knowing how that all of these things were psychic impressions made into physical constructs to capture my attention.
Recognizing the goodness of what was occurring; I closed my eyes and began what seemed like a totally natural, but never before experienced, inward journey.
Early in this state, an impression came over me that what I was to experience might be likened to a very controlled and safe LSD trip. What was so scary and dangerous for the LSD user was not to be scary or dangerous for me, because I understood what was happening, and I was in total control.
Most of the perception, visually, during those moments, did not consist of sight in the usual sense; concepts, feelings and impressions were mixed with words and sights in an initially tangled jumble. Feelings and views abounded but not in the usual physical sense. The ‘scenes’ consisted of great flowing and pulsating patterns as well as colorful granular structures, much more massive and alive than anything I had ever experienced before.
I seemed to feel these things as much as see them. In effect, I became part of them. I was even consciously able to flow into and around my ‘visions,’ enter them at will, and perceive them from different angles. This depth of view/feelings, at times, was overwhelming.
All of these events were completely conscious. As they were occurring, I was thoroughly aware of what normally was a very awkward physical position in bed. I knew that my body was safe. At one point, Barb even turned toward me in the midst of my experience.
Again, the thoughts came to me that this experience was under my control. It was to be a learning event and one that would continue for extended periods of time. It was impressed upon me, in a very clear manner that this type of thing would happen on many nights, for many, many years, perhaps for the rest of my life.
Seemingly apart from my consciousness, the statement flooded my being with the words, “Now it begins.” Slowly, I started to realize that the ‘explosion’ heard just minutes before had actually occurred inside of me. It was some sort of ‘explosion of being.’ Somehow, this all related to our psychic work, the Writings, etc.
At that point, I conceived my own being to be in “explosive interaction.” That original burst of sound and feeling, in essence, became me, and I, it. Unbelievably, I then literally felt myself become a brilliant, expanding firework. Fully, I could sense every particle of my being gloriously and joyously explode and enlarge, sending pieces of myself into every part of existence. I could feel it! I could feel myself, not as a distinct being, a body, or a separate entity, but, instead, I was existing happily as multitudinous amounts of bursting consciousness.
The sensation was so unlike life as we think of it. How incredible to simultaneously feel myself in multiple, separate, expanding showers of my own being. I thought that perhaps this was how God felt when He showered himself to create the reality that we know. It was then that I had a distinct need to find what Barb and I called, our “psychic house.” This was a place we had constructed mentally—a place of refuge on a beautiful river where all things fit together and made sense. In that house we placed a huge floor to ceiling tropical fish tank.
I had to see the flow of that infinite fish tank. I also had to see my deceased grandmother, but why, I couldn’t say. Instantly, I stood within the house, awed by its absolutely sparkling clarity. In front of me, the beautiful fish tank bubbled, percolating its way upward. My grandmother stood in front of the tank, but her image was blurred, in contrast to everything around her. Gradually, the image began to come into focus, and as I had seen in the hospital the night of her death, my grandmother again was a beautiful little girl, looking into the brilliance of the tank.
Turning slowly, she looked at me and smiled. Then the changes began. In a blinding series of flashes, her face changed into other faces at an incredible speed. Some of those faces I seemed to recognize, but many, I did not. It wasn’t a fearful experience in any way. Somehow it seemed to be a very natural event. Once again, as a beautiful child, my grandmother returned her gaze to the fish tank.
But as the movement was completed, her head became what I had seen earlier; swirling, pulsating patterns of granular colors of incredible depth. It was as if all of the physical that we know blended into what was the true essence of her being.
The sight filled me with warmth, recognition and thankfulness that consciously I was beginning to understand. “In one sweeping motion, both the child and I then flowed into the radiance of the fish tank. Immediately, I merged with the swells and bubbles, expanding ever upward. Again, as in my “self-explosion as a firework” experience, I became the joyous, separate existences of this bubbling material.
Part of my being was thrusting constantly upward and outward, and yet, I could look down and “feel” the parts of myself that were being “recreated” at the bottom. Gradually, my focus turned from the fish tank to my own body lying in bed beside Barb. The strange thing was that part of my consciousness had never left. During all of the perceptions and events in the “psychic house,” I could feel that part of me still in bed. When the fullness of my consciousness returned, I focused on Barb. Somehow, I thought that she might join me in my experiences.
In less than a second, she physically moved closer to me. Pulling the covers around her, she mumbled some indistinguishable words and stayed asleep. Had I contacted her? Within the asking of that question, I was seeing back into that “other reality.” Flowing towards me with pulsations of its beautiful, granular form, was one of my “living” molecular structures.
Familiarity and love caused my physical body to smile, for I knew this being was Barb’s spiritual essence. She was with me in the totality of the experience. Physically smiling again, I focused on my body, realizing for the first time how absolutely in control I was. I knew that I could open my eyes, physically move and not disturb the “other reality.”
To test this, I decided to recognize finally the very awkward physical position I had been in for some time. “Decided?” Evidently, it was up to me to feel or not feel. How strange! As my eyes opened, everything in the dullness of the late night gloom was perfectly normal. I turned over and stretched. Stiff and chilly, I pulled the covers around my chin. The next decision was to return to the “other reality.” Instantly, it was done. Again, the flowing, throbbing structures bubbled with their granular intricacies.
Watching those forms somehow made me think of out-of-body experiences and within the thought came the flash of understanding: “Out-of-body experiences are nothing more than pulling the physical inside-out.” What? The concept made obvious sense to a deeper part of me, but the calculating logic of my surface consciousness wondered how I could comprehend such an obscure bunch of words.
As if to clarify the concept, another thought pierced the confusion: “The spiritual is simply the underside of the physical. The two are actually interchangeable.” I realized at that point, I had always known this but the depth of knowledge had previously been far beyond what my conscious mind could accept.
Then words seemingly apart from me said, “This is not the time to sense what is considered by many to be an out-of-body experience. These occurrences are definitely valid but not for you, Doug, right now. Out-of-body experiences are childlike and linked directly to the physical world and to physical understanding. You know better! It is your responsibility to work on a comprehension of the true underside of the physical being that you now have seen as a flowing, pulsating substance. Out-of-body experiences are merely an in-between state, or a playtime, compared to the truer reality you are sensing.”
I opened my eyes again. My body was rigid but under control. Could I sleep? Should I continue with the experience? No, I had to write it all down, capture as much as possible before it was forgotten. It’s still clear as a bell. Why do I feel it’s so vital to write this down in such detail?
It’s now 4:11 A.M. I’ve been writing and thinking for quite a while now. When I got up, I had to look outside to see if it was cloudy. The physical sensation of that original rousing explosion still tingled in my being. Maybe a distant flash of lightning would indicate a recently passed storm. Perhaps that could explain the explosion.
I smiled at my need to try and explain the recent event in physically acceptable terms. Bright moonlight drenched everything except the ink black shadows of the trees as I stepped onto the back porch. Dark sky speckled with glinting intense. Seeing nothing of particular interest, I went back to bed. The next night in a channeling session with Barb, I asked what had happened to me during that weird experience. Here’s the answer:
“As your perceptions accelerate, your wisdom will flourish easily with comfort. Ascertain the various lessons that resulted in this chapter of your life. It was actually a penetration into a deeper state of being for operative powers to be withheld, but observed.
“Your nature must also observe creative abilities within the spiritual levels. The accent of the explosive scenes was intended to behold actual vibratory states that you are fully responsive to.
“Finalizing your crystallized thoughts, you were able to perceive the underside of every vibration that encircled your wisdom of many past lives. As a guide from other areas of time, you are now more peaceful within yourself but be pleasured in knowing that through these experiences you will start to relive other adjustments that have been made here before.
“Isolation will not always recreate this portion for you. However, a part of other existences will come into your lives and slowly respond to your demands. Become increasingly aware of these pasts and act upon them. While opening an image of yourself, Doug, you were acting as the spark within each creative being; your own challenge, therefore, being answered from within yourself. The reality of which you spoke was an actuality. This was then placed before you again, to help you relive the actual experiences that area commonality on this plane.”
The “explosion of being” incident, as we now call it, was for me an extremely personal culmination of contact with an unseen existence. In a way, I still feel very much a part of that experience. It’s as if it were continuing somehow, laying foundations for further perceptions and merging with Barb’s trance communication to form a comprehensive pattern of understanding. For both of us, the “explosion of being” event has become so symbolic of our increasingly expanded awareness that no other title for this book could have been more appropriate.