Today’s post is an article a friend in my meditation group sent to me. It had so much great information in it that I immediately contacted the author, Marsha Lucas, and asked if she would allow me to reproduce it in my blog. Marsha was most gracious and agreed to serve as my latest guest blogger. Marsha is a clinical psychologist practicing in the Washington, DC area and has published a book titled, Rewire Your Brain for Love. The article is long but well worth the read.
Dr. Marsha Lucas
It’s never too late to have a (brain that’s wired as if it had a) happy childhood1
Therapists get this question a lot: “Okay, so now that I understand how my history made me a mess when it comes to relationships, what now? It’s not like I can go back in time and change my childhood.”
The “what now” is that there’s increasing evidence that the simple practice of mindfulness meditation can re-wire your brain. In key areas, you can literally change and grow neural connections which support finding and creating better relationships. And in nine different ways, your brain can become more like those who grew up knowing how to love and be loved in healthy, sustainable ways.
As a psychologist helping others find their way to greater emotional well-being, I find that the most compelling benefits of a regular mindfulness meditation practice are a set of nine documented results.2 (I mentioned them in my previous post, Mindfulness Meditation + Neuroscience = Healthier Relationships.) I’ve seen the results confirmed through my psychology practice, in myself, and in the lives of my friends and colleagues.
At least seven of these nine benefits bear a remarkable resemblance to the characteristics of people who grew up with healthy, attuned attachments. Childhood attachment experiences have a huge impact on how we are wired for relationships, throughout our lives.
So, if we can change our brain to work more like those people with healthy attachment histories, we too can have a brain that’s wired as if it had a happy childhood.
NINE WAYS THAT A MEDITATING BRAIN CREATES BETTER RELATIONSHIPS
When I first learned about these from Dan Siegel, MD, I was stunned that something as simple as mindfulness meditation could make such inroads with the challenges of finding and creating healthy relationships.2 Take a look at these benefits:
1. Better management of your body’s reactions.
Stress and anger lose their grip on your body more quickly and easily. When you get home from a hard day at work, you aren’t still carrying the pent-up tension and frustration in your body, and so you won’t be driven towards an angry reaction to your partner’s benign comment.
In a way, it’s like re-setting your body’s “alarm” button when it’s gotten stuck in the “ON” position. Vital to your relationships is your ability to (a) recognize that that’s what’s going on, (b) understand what is happening in your brain and body that is keeping you there, and (c) un-stick that alarm button.
Of all the locations I’ve visited and/or investigated, The Queen Mary in Long Beach, California is one of the most interesting. Back in the day, it was a luxury liner that was then converted into a troop transport ship during WWII. Thousands of people are beleieved to have perished on or around the ship over the years. World renowned psychic Peter James believed there are close to 600 spirits wandering the ship.
We had taken one tour earlier in the day and it took us into the changing rooms of the first class swimming pool. Several spirits are said to haunt this area. We had told the guide before the tour started that we were paranormal investigators so that he would understand why we’d have some pieces of equipment with us. There were almost enough of us to have our own private tour.
